Wednesday, December 4, 2019

Some Catch Up, Plus Day 10: The Day Justin Drank Backwash

Day 7 started out with a medical appointment for Liena. We were taken by our guide and driver, along with two other families, to a medical office where our adopted children underwent brief exams and TB tests. These are required by the US consulate in order to grant their visas. The whole process took half a day, and by the end of it Liena was tired of waiting and being patient, and so were we. How glad we were to be dropped back at our hotel! 

That afternoon and evening and the day after were spent walking endless miles around the city sightseeing, exploring, and trying local food. Our guide had some excursions planned for the two families we had medical appointments with(not a travel group, we just happened to be sharing a guide), but we preferred to do things on our own time and in our own way.

Monday was entirely free, so we took the opportunity to visit Lotus Hill. This requires a subway ride and a bus and took roughly an hour. Subways in China(at least in Nanning and Guangzhou) are surprisingly easy to navigate. Signs and announcements are in Chinese and English, so even I, who can get lost on a straight road with one destination, can manage them. 

Lotus Hill is a huge garden on a hill(obviously, right?) that encompasses several sights including a 2000 year old quarry. We walked for miles(no joke) and saw so much beauty, I don't know if I'll be able to upload enough pictures to convey it. 

At the end of the day everyone's feet were tired. Liena fell asleep in my arms after running up multiple hills and flights of stairs. Aria and Calin would have fallen asleep in our arms if they were younger. Since adopting little sister, they seem so big and capable now. I didn't expect to feel so sad about that. Motherhood so far has been such a mixture of pride and joy in who they are at the moment, and yearning for the little stages that have passed.

Now we arrive at day 10: US consulate day! This morning we were picked up by our guide and driver at 7:15(Whyyyyy??? Way too early to function for such an important appointment!), and proceeded to two other hotels to pick up the other two families who attended their medical appointments with us.

Our guide gave very specific instructions for where to go, what to do, and definitely what not to do. She could not accompany us inside, and I could tell this was causing her a great deal of anxiety. She likes to keep close tabs on us and is hesitant when we go off on our own (evidenced by her complete shock that we dared to attempt Lotus Hill on our own, and surprise that we did so successfully!), so parting from us at the consulate gates included many repeated instructions and warnings.

We were told that we could bring snacks and drinks for our children inside the Consulate, along with our file bin worth of paperwork. Justin thoughtfully offered to walk our bag through security so I could concentrate on Liena, who is constantly trying to run off, climb something, or ask for other people's food. Liena and I went through security then paused to wait for Justin to catch up. 

I must pause here to explain that Liena backwashes. So much. We had a fresh bottle of water for her this morning, and on the way to the appointment she nibbled on a cliff bar and sipped on her water just enough to turn it a murky white color. This is what her water always looks like, no matter how often we change it. 

Back to security. Liena and I got through, and turned around to wait for Justin. As I looked back, I could see the guards asking about the snacks. Justin pointed to Liena and I, and said they were for his daughter. Nodding, the guards said "For the baby?" and let him put them back in the bag. Next they turned to the water bottle and asked what it was. Justin responded, "It's water, for the baby." They shook their heads "no," and he said "But she will need it and we can't get more inside." Staring back at him, one of the officers said, "Then drink it." This all happened very quickly, as things tend to at security check points, and next thing I know, Justin is taking a swig of the murkiest water I've ever seen in a water bottle. The guards nodded, he tossed it in the bag, and then joined me sputtering and saying "I knew she'd need it, what else could I do?"

I could barely breathe for laughing at that moment. He was laughing too, as were the other families. I was laughing out of disbelief and the plain hilarity of the moment, but then it hit me what a thoughtful and protective father he is, and then it hit me what a momemtous thing our family is doing. I'm not saying that out of pride or high opinion of ourselves. It is a plain fact that adoption is an enormous undertaking for everyone involved. For the parents who dream, and save, and plan, and walk through miles and miles of paperwork. For the agencies who shoulder the responsibility of maintaining Hague accreditation and supporting families in bringing little ones home, to the orphanages who raise the children until a family (hopefully) comes for them. Most of all, for the child who leaves his or her home of origin, being expected to acclimate to complete strangers and then a foreign land and culture. They lose and gain so much in the span of a few weeks. Most adults would not cope well, it is amazing when children are able to.

All this hit me like a ton of lead bricks as I walked though the US Consulate property, giggling about my husband drinking backwash water. When I had to wipe laughing tears from my eyes it dawned on me that I was on the brink of hysterical crying. I've held it together this trip, tending to the needs of not only our new child, but those we already have who are grappling with this change. They love Liena so, and this does not negate what a transition they are managing. Aria is now big sister to two siblings, and Calin suddenly finds himself a middle child instead of the baby. As most moms do, I have focused on the tasks at hand and have not fully processed everything myself. Hence, the almost ugly cry on US soil in China. A few deep breaths and determined redirection of thoughts later, I was again contained and ready to continue with the consulate appointment. I know I will be able to talk through everything later with friends and family once we are home, and I am so grateful to know they will be there to pick up the phone and listen. I also look forward to sleeping someday again. 

The consulate appointment was really very easy. We paid a fee, turned in paperwork, stood around while it was reviewed, took an oath, then answered a couple questions from the adoption officer. Afterward, we ditched our group and took the subway back to our hotel, much to the dismay of our guide. The other families wanted to tour Canton Tower, but we wanted to return to our kids and Tamsin, who was patiently watching them again. Our guide warned us repeatedly to be careful on the subway and to keep track of our paperwork, and then reluctantly joined the rest of the group. 

We made it back without incident and enjoyed an afternoon wandering the city. Justin, Aria, and Calin toured a house which belonged to Bruce Lee, and Tamsin and I did a little shopping nearby with Liena, who simply had to buy a kitty hat. The evening ended with a quick date with Justin while Tamsin fed our  kids takeout in our room. Having time to chat with Justin one on one was so nice, especially as we reviewed the events of the day and checked in on how we are doing with everything.

Tamsin leaves us tomorrow as she has college finals to take. We are sad she has to leave us but are so grateful she joined us on this trip. We are truly thankful.

Waiting around at medical.

I am convinced there is no load these little tricycles cannot handle.

Morning, December 1.

Tea shops are my favorite.

Scorpions anyone?

Delicious pancake thing stuffed with herbs and I think diced mushrooms.

Closed out the night with Uno!

Entrance to Lotus Hill

Our pretty older daughter 💕

Just napping on a giant hen.

Running to me for a hug!


I'm so grateful for my husband, this whole adoption experience (way back from the beginning) has grown us and shown me he truly is as good as it gets.

Goodnight Liena style!


Saturday, November 30, 2019

Day 6: Nanning to Guangzhou

On day six we woke early to check out of our hotel and take a three hour bullet train ride to Gaungzhou where the medical appointment and American Consulate appointment take place. Our train was scheduled for 9:30, and our guide said he'd arrive at the hotel at 8:30 to help us check out(because of the language barrier), then take us half an hour to the station where we would then have about 20 minutes to check in, go through security, and board. We were nervous we wouldn't have enough time but every time we asked him to leave earlier he said "It's ok, it's ok, just trust me, it's ok it's ok." It might be ok if you're from here and know your way around the enormous station  and aren't dragging around giant luggage. Thankfully we made it right on time and it was all ok, but there definitely wasnt room for error. At least he taught me a new mantra, "It's ok, it's ok."

The train was comfortable, though three hours felt like six with our toddler summersaulting in my lap. She drug me down to the restroom six times just for the fun of it, which was fine because she needed to move! I don't mean to sound like a complainer, I am just truly amazed at her energy and stamina! I would like to put a fitbit on her and see how many steps she takes per day, but I don't think it could count that high.

When we arrived in Guangzhou we were met by our next guide, Alexa. The ride to our hotel was about forty minutes. We threw our stuff in our room and went right out to a late lunch. Aria ordered pizza which was interesting and would never be acceptable in New Jersey where we were recently living. They have pizza everywhere and it is amazing, and this was not that. Aria did not seem to mind and kept saying how delicious it was to have pizza after eating noodles at least once per day to date.

We are staying on Shamian Island in the same hotel I stayed in with my friends eleven years ago. It is comfortable and the island is very beautiful. The architecture, proximity to water, fancy restaurants, and tourist shops everywhere remind me a lot of Cape May and I feel at home. It is pretty safe traffic wise for kids to run around as well. There is often live music on the waterfront, and the city lights up with a neon glow at night. We spent the whole afternoon and evening on the island resting and enjoying being off the train. Justin kindly (and bravely) insisted on bathing amd putting to bed all three kids so Tamsin and I could take our time walking, talking, and enjoying the atmosphere. 

Day 6 was a great day.

Check out time!

These two are snack buddies! They started the train ride with rice crackers galore.

Snacks in one's own seat are lame. Sitting on brother's lap and force feeding him is much preferred.

Forget snacks! Let's read a book for five seconds.

Waaaaait, this book is boring. Let's do mom's hair in multiple ponytails(remember I said she can do her own pony? Well she's also licensed to do other people's hair. Who knew?).

Homework time was completely adorable. I've loved hearing Aria and Calin's journal entries, and also discovered that Liena can trace her hand!

Whew! Made it to our hotel! Lunch time at last.

Aria's pizza.

Look at these chopstick professionals!

The island.

This guy painted a name banner for Liena in Chinese characters.

Snack shopping!

Beans in the matcha ice cream? Why not?

For real. Next time I'm invited somewhere for sundaes I'm bringing beans as my contribution. 

Pajama girls and snacks. Always snacks.

Nanning Day 5: Thanksgiving

Day five started out with a tour of Green Mountain, a 200 meter mountain and the highest point in Nanning. The whole mountain is landscaped and beautiful, full of tropical plants and water features. Usually tough hikers, we chose to bus part way up the mountain. Liena was full of energy and running at top speed. Containing her in a shuttle until we were somewhere she could run safely was really helpful.

At the top of the mountain is a tower. The original was built 400 years ago and was named the Dragon and Elephant Tower and was meant to harness the power of the land and water. Apparently dragons are most powerful in the water and elephants on land, so with that name they had their bases covered! It was destroyed once by lightening and then rebuilt. During WWII the Chinese government destroyed it for fear that it would be a target for Japan and put the city at risk. It was built again fifty years ago. Even though it is very tall, it can only be climbed to the ninth floor, but the view from there is still beautiful! 

Following our mountain visit, we went to lunch with our guide. We asked him to choose a place as our attempts to fins food have been a bit hit or miss! He took us to a rice bowl restaurant called Pokefun. It was in a super fancy mall, and this is where we had Thanksgiving lunch. Afterward he left to complete some paperwork tasks for the he next steps in our adoption. The afternoon was spent doing homework and playing with our kids in and around the hotel. 

Liena has continued to be happy, energetic, and always ready for a good time! Aria and Calin have been enjoying pushing her stroller, opening her endless snacks, and playing. It has been so fun watching them develop relationships!

Green Mountain

She climbs everything!

So handsome!!

Our kids loved feeding the koi, but honestly they were pretty disturbing. The sounds they made as they swarmed for food, the way they pushed each other to the surface, and chomped was just too much! I should have recorded them.

Ever patient and fun Tamsin! 

Dragon and elephant tower.

Its just so pretty here!

Thanksgiving dinner. I wouldn't have had it any other way this year.

It should be called Ridiculously Delish.

We ended the evening at the bridge falls near our hotel.

This girl has taken on her role as big sister (again) with such grace and joy. It's been amazing to watch her love and patience with little sister who wants to do everything she is doing and constantly be in her space.